Forever pain

I am never good enough for anybody. And that sentence explains it all. I am losing everyone I have ever really had in my life. It kills me. But “I don’t care about anybody but myself ” if I try to make one person happy somebody else gets mad. If I am actually happy myself no one else is and something happens. I can’t please everyone. They make me feel like Shit when I don’t make them happy.
Mom is dying.. but she is the one that can break me down in a instant.
Dad is in and out. He is just as hard to please and actually get his approval
My papaw that was my only dad figure from the time mom and dad split up. Is now gonna die along with papaw Jack’s mom.
Nothing can ever just be okayy


Keep going

Life isn’t easy lately. Definately hard as hell, but I know I can keep going. Nobody I perfect, me for sure! I am going to be the best me I can be.  That’s all I know to do.  Even when things hard as they are now. Being depressed and down about it doesnt make it any better it just makes it worse. So you just have to keep going.


My puppy Blue is a major mess.  I wouldn’t trade him for the world though.  He is my baby boy. 


He is 10 months old and growing fast.  We got him from the shelter.   He was only 2 months old when we got him from there.  They told us that the owner before broke his tail (as you can see in the picture) , and burnt both of his back feet.  He is the sweetest dog in the world.  He doesn’t understand how large he is and thinks it’s okayy to be in peoples laps.  He wouldn’t hurt anyone though.  Well, he is very protective of me.  I am his momma and nobody touchs his momma haha.  That’s probably the only way he would hurt someone.  He doesn’t like when people rough house,  and yell.  He loves everyone that loves him.  He is a gorgeous dog with a loving heart. 🙂 he has mine:)

My mom ^

My moms name is Daisie.  She is terminally ill.  She has been sick since I was about 12.  It has declined since then.  I am now 17 .  She isn’t getting better, and the doctors can’t fix her.  I watch her decline more and more everyday, but I stay by her side.  She is my bestfriend and my mother.  I keep my guard up to prepare myself for what I know is coming.  It’s difficult, but I have amazing friends.  Also a boyfriend that has been amazing for 4 years. 
My way of making myself feel better is helping others in difficult situations.  Making others feel they aren’t alone in this world.  Nobody’s life is perfect… but can be perfect for that person.

New blog? :D

New blog for me. Life is Okayy at the moment.  Not perfect,  but who’s is? Mom might be sick, but still kickin and alright.  She worries the crap outta me sometimes.  
Today I was reunited with my brother that I haven’t seen ina while. Lord have I missed him


He has grown up so much.. he isn’t ny little brother anymore haha.. as you can see.